trying

So I haven't written one of these in a long time, so I figured I would now that I have a few minutes as I wait for laundry to finish.
Life has become busy for me and Ryan but we think we are handling it well, at least for the most part. There have definitely been times when we wished we could just slow down and take a couple days off, we are alive and well.
I am working full time now at a Montessori preschool. I work in the infant room and I enjoy it most days. It is not really something I saw myself doing, but I know God has me there for a reason and I am ok with that.
The month of August I also did a lot of subbing for ESL. It was a lot of fun but I was very busy and it was stressful a lot of the time. September slowed down some, although maybe not as much as I would have liked.
My family was here for three weeks the end of August/beginning of September. I got to spend time with my little sister, which was a blessing. I felt like I didn't really see the rest of my family that much. They were times we were all together, but it didn't feel like any "quality time." That made it easier on me when they left in some ways but it also made it harder because I would have liked to have more time with them.
I am sure there are plenty of other things that have happened the last couple of months. Looking back, it doesn't seem like the last two months really happened. I am not sure where the summer went.
I do think I have grown. At least I hope I have. I know I've learned a lot about myself and how I handle different situations. I think I am learning more about my relationship with God also and how I see Him in my life. I am trying to allow Him to do the big things in my life, to be the big God that He is in my life.
I also feel like I've "rekindled" my friendship with Ali. I know it was never lost, but her friendship has been very special to me lately and I love the times I've been able to talk and spend time with her.
I think now I just need a little adventure in my life outside of the everyday things.

movies, sermons and attitude checks

This last weekend was an enjoyable weekend...for the most part. On Friday, Ryan and relaxed a little and did some grocery shopping. In the evening, we played "Duel" (it's a game show on TV but Ryan and I play along with it) and that was lots of fun, as it always is. Saturday we were able to sleep in...well, I did most of the sleeping in. Ryan is usually up by 8 on Saturday mornings. It was laundry weekend so we did that early afternoon before going to see "Wall-E", the new Pixar movie. I would recommend it. I love pretty much all the Pixar movies (although "Bug's Life didn't stand out to me) and I can add "Wall-E" to my list of favorite Pixar movies. I think my favorites so far are "Finding Nemo", "The Incredibles", and probably "Wall-E" now. Oh, and "Monsters Inc."
Sunday was the EuroCup final, Spain versus Germany. We were so excited to find out they were showing it on ABC so we got to watch it. We were even more excited when Spain won it. Amazing!
Sunday morning there was church of course. We went a little earlier to help out with prayer teams at the end of the first service. RVC just finished a sermon series on the names of God and it has been incredible. And yesterday we had the perfect chance to put what we had heard in the message at church to good use...All this last weekend there was an event going on in Loring Park, a park we live only about a block away from. It was an event that I wasn't too happy was taking place in the park to begin with, but the biggest pain it creates for us is parking. Since we park on the street, sometimes it's hard to find a parking spot that's close by. This weekend was extra challenging. Between Saturday night and Sunday afternoon after church, we drove around for a total of an hour looking for a parking spot. Sunday, right after church, we had the message from church (the name of God was Jehovah Shammah--God with us) clear in our minds and we were definitely reminded of it while driving around. So we had a little attitude check, a reminder that God is with us...sitting in our car with us while we are driving around looking for a parking spot...
And that was my weekend.
oh, also exciting. The Vida Abundante website is looking good and getting updates. I have had fun helping Ryan with it (www.vidaabundantevalencia.com).

two months, three weeks, and today

It has been almost exactly two months since I wrote my last post. My last post starts out by saying "nine days left until Spain". That time has come and gone. We were in Spain for three weeks and it was a very enjoyable time and I wish we could have stayed longer. At the beginning of the trip, three weeks seemed like a long time, but they went by so fast and there were things that we didn't get to do.
While we were there, I had hoped to go see my friends in Cartagena, the city south of Valencia that we lived in for three years. All four girls were actually there but sadly I wasn't able to go see them. There were also some friends houses in Valencia that we never had the chance to go to.
While it seemed like there were a lot of things we didn't get to do, I left Spain feeling much more connected than I had in years. That was a nice feeling. It has also made me so much more impatient. We will probably visit again in a year and a half, but I wish we could do more than just visit. All in God's timing....
This summer my whole family is going to be in Spain, except for me and my hubby. Someone told me the other day that it's all part of being an adult. And I understand that but knowing that doesn't make me miss my family or Spain any less.
Last week, I was able to more of something I really enjoy. I have had the opportunity to sub at an ESL school...so I go and teach English to immigrant adults a couple times a month. It has been a lot of fun to be able to do that and I feel like I learn something about myself every time I teach. It is exciting to see students respond and to be able to work out everything as I teach.
I also have been helping some with my parents church website (check it out: http://www.vidaabundantevalencia.com/) and that has been fun too because I get to practice my Spanish and also help my husband with his.
I have been working on reading the book of Ezekiel. It has taken me longer than I expected...it's kind of a hard book to read, but I am getting through it. Next book I read will be a New Testament book. I haven't decided which one yet. Any suggestions?
I guess I will close here. Just an update on my life. More later.

A day in the life of...

Nine days left until we go to Spain. Yes, I am excited but I think my excitement has changed a little in the past few years. Maybe because I would like to stay longer, but I know I can't. Or maybe because it is different with not as many siblings there, even though I definitely enjoy getting to spend quality time with those that are in Spain. Or maybe because I am older and married and I have a different relationship with my family then I did when I was younger. I do know that I don't know what I would do without my family. I was watching the show "Numbers" recently and something someone said on the show reminded me of how I feel about my family and being far apart from them. It was also something that showed me why I feel frustrated when I don't have contact with my family. Since I am already so far away from part of my family, if I don't have contact with them, it's as if a big part of me were missing. It is hard to explain the feeling, but that's basically it.
On a different subject...today it was finally warmer, but very windy outside. I guess I can't complain too much about the wind. Spring has taken it's time to arrive so I should be happy that it seems like it finally has.
I am teaching tonight. This is my third time and I am still a bit nervous. After this class, I will have taught three levels of English understanding. I have had fun so far and catch places where I know I can improve. At the same time, each class is different so I have to gauge what works for each class and what doesn't. What works for one class might not work for another, especially if they are at a different level with their English.
One of my close friends from college is moving away and it saddens me. I am really going to miss her. I realized that I am not very used to people moving away because I usually am the one that moves. Saying goodbye is hard but I trust this is a friendship I will always have.
Summer is coming up too. I am not sure if there is anything specific to look forward to this summer but I am hoping it's a good one.

If this was today, I can't wait until tomorrow

I am either feeling inspired or maybe I just had that good of a day. I definitely feel like I have had a good day so far. I got to spend time with Ryan at work--I hadn't done that in a while and it was so nice to be able to do that today. I got to see a friend that I normally only see on Wednesdays. I was able to enjoy the nice weather we are having today. The snow is melting, and even though the grass isn't green and flowers aren't blooming yet, there is a promise of Spring. Today is Friday--and Ryan likes Fridays so that means I like them too :) And the day isn't even over yet. But I like today. Today is a good day.

Lately...or maybe just today

There is less than a month left until Ryan and I go on vacation, although it is more of a vacation for him since I haven’t been working. I am looking forward to it for many different reasons, but I am especially looking forward to it because I know that it will be a time when Ryan can relax and I really want that for him.

I don’t want to complain, but the last couple of months have been a little difficult for me. It is amazing how having a job helped me focus, and since I haven’t for the last couple months, I have felt so “disoriented” and in a lot of ways, just out of it. There has been such a range of emotions for me lately but sometimes I will just feel an overwhelming peace and know that even in the times I've screwed up or been just plain dumb, I know God still loves me and is with me every step of the way. That’s a good thing.

It has been nice to be able to teach a couple times in the last month. It definitely feels good to go into a place and do something that you have been trained in and be confident that you’ve done it the best you can and it came out pretty good. Teaching English is kind of funny in a way for me, especially where I have been teaching. A lot of the students come from Spanish speaking countries, but in the classroom they speak only English and when I talk to them, both ends of the conversation are in English. I know the students realize that having a conversation in English will strengthen their language skills, but for me I really want to talk to them in Spanish.

So back to the beginning. I get to go back to Spain in less than a month and I am very excited. I wish the whole family could be there, but it will be nice to spend time with the family that is there.

random

Just a few things about me that you might not have known because you haven't seen me in a while...or things I am just discovering myself:

• I feel like I struggle with my Spanish if I am thinking too hard about it, but then I find myself talking to myself in Spanish and it seems to flow fine then. A comforting thought.
• I can't dance ballet and don't have much desire to, but I love everything about it (almost everything, anyway).
• Junior highers and high schoolers intimidate me, but I can't seem to keep away from them--one of the greatest things to see is these young people worshipping God.
• I want to have a big house so we can have people over just to be a blessing to them and have a really fancy guest room (with fancy robes, slippers, snacks...everything).
• I love wooden boxes, wooden model ships, and Spanish fans.
• I layer my clothes a lot--sometimes I can be wearing 5 tops at a time.
• I have been wanting to visit Thailand lately.
• My taste in music has gotten a lot smaller in variety over the past few years. Nowadays I really only listen to Hillsongs. I do like other music, but I only ever listen to a whole Hillsong cd.
• I miss those fancy, nice haircuts I would get in Spain. I am convinced that there is no one here in MN that can cut my hair the same way, unless I paid a lot of money for it.

And that's it for now...maybe I'll add more sometime.

So 2008?

So this is 2008. I am not sure what I think about it yet, but I know it's still early in the year. 2007 was a good year for me. I feel like I grew a lot personally and spiritually. I formed new friendships, became involved in a wonderful church community...2008 has not started out the way I had expected. If anything, at this point, I have absolutely no idea what to expect of this year. All I know is that if I don't leave it in God's hands and trust him completely and entirely with my life, I will go insane.

Right now I see myself on a hanging bridge not being able to see what is ahead of me, even if the next board is there for me to step on to take the next step. But if I look back, I can see all the boards that I have stepped on to get to where I am now, and I remember that there were other times when I couldn't see the board in front of me then, but I just had to step out in faith and trust that God would place that board there for me to take the next step. This time, it feels a little scarier to take that next step. But I know I have to take that step of faith and trust God knows what he's doing (because he really does).

I have had a verse on my mind a lot in the past few months and I feel God reminding me of it more even now. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Verses 12 through 14 go on to say:"In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you, says the Lord." That is so amazing to me, especially when I look at the surrounding verses. The Israelites were captive in a foreign land, yet God was telling them to settle in and plan to stay for a while. They weren't somewhere they wanted to be and I am sure they thought a lot about where they could be instead or where they could possibly be in the future. God just doesn't leave them there. He tells them he knows what he is doing. I have to believe that God is telling me the same thing. While my circumstances are entirely different, alot of times I find myself thinking about where I would rather be or where I could be in the future. God is telling me to settle in because if I don't, I will miss what he has for me now, this day, at this moment. He knows what he's doing. And today is just as important as tomorrow. My friendships and relationships are just as important now as are the friendships I will have in the future. Where I am serving now is just as important now as where I will be serving in the future. How can I not believe that? In this new year, when I feel so very unsure about direction in my life, I have to believe that God will put that next board in place, that he knows what he is doing even though I can't necessarily immediately see what he is doing, and that he not only loves me, he also really likes me.